Back in my Expendables review, I remarked how its story pretty much boiled down to how Hispanics are stupid and impotent folk who can’t do anything without the white man helping them. I personally found the racist undertones very difficult to ignore, but nonetheless subtle and hardly the focus of the movie.
Now, meet that movie’s polar opposite, Machete.
It’s interesting to discuss this movie’s political stance because it’s so unbelievably heightened. In fact, everything in this movie is heightened. The stunts are totally outlandish, the satire is borderline parody, the characters are all two-dimensional and each of the copious nude scenes is invariably scored to porno beats.
This film does not do anything small. While any other action movie might treat the immigration issue as subtext, this movie makes it full-on text. However, it only gets really preachy about it on a few occasions and even then, the short sermons are very cleverly disguised as one-liners. More than anything, the matter is a device to set up the dividing line between our characters: Who’s good and who’s bad. Naturally, there’s no middle ground.
Most movies with such an approach to characterization have some kind of surefire signal to mark our bad guys and cannon fodder (the rampant promiscuity in Piranha 3D, for example). In this case, anyone expressing sympathy for the downtrodden illegal immigrants are the good guys and any ignorant, racist, bigoted fuckheads are doomed for short lives. Sure, you could try to figure out our villains from our heroes by way of following the literal story, but good luck with that. It’s something to do with a senator getting re-elected so he can raise an electric border fence, which helps a Mexican drug lord and gets the senator’s aide lots of money or some shit like that. Really, all you need to know and all you’re expected to know is that “pro-immigration characters = good” and “racist characters = evil.”
It’s very much like an old blaxploitation film in that way, but with Hispanic folk substituted for black people. In fact, the comparison doesn’t end there. True to its origins in Grindhouse, that woefully underseen 2007 ode to old-school D-grade cinema, the visuals in this movie are beautifully retro. The film’s coloring changes occasionally, scratches and grain are frequently seen and I’m pretty sure a few frames were missing. However, the aging was done very strategically, as the most obvious effects are up front during the prologue. By that point, the narrative tone had already been so well-established (Machete decapitates three guys in a single stroke before meeting a nude young woman who smuggles a cell phone in her crotch) that the artificial aging could be scaled back to let the story and the acting carry most of the atmospheric load.
As a side note, I sincerely hope that whoever cut together the post-Cinco de Mayo trailers for Machete is currently on the lookout for a new job. The murky, blurry and incomprehensible visuals seen in the film’s promos are absolutely nowhere to be found in the finished product, to my great relief. In fact, unlike some other action movies I could name (*coughExpendablescough*), the fight scenes in this movie were brightly lit and clearly visible. Additionally, there were stunts in this movie that I’d never seen before (rappelling from one floor to another through the use of a live human’s intestines is definitely a new one for me), which is really all that I ask of any action movie. However, I did find the choreography and staging a bit hard to follow in places.
The death of Lt. Von Stillman is a great example. When he finally gets a bullet to the brain, the event is over so quickly and the editing so vague that it took me a long time after the fact to remember that he was dead. Stillman deserved better than that. He was the leader of the army that Machete and his crew were fighting at the time. In his introductory scene, he shot a pregnant border-crosser, just so she — an illegal immigrant — could never give birth to a legal U.S. citizen. This was a truly slimy guy, mostly thanks to his portrayal by Don Johnson. Of the movie’s four major villains, Stillman was arguably the biggest shitbag of the bunch, yet he’s practically killed offscreen. For shame.
The only villain of the film who could possibly top Stillman in terms of pure evil and strength of portrayal would be Mr. Booth. This guy is at least a dozen different kinds of fucked-up, wrapped in the brilliant package of Jeff Fahey’s performance. In this movie, Booth deals in corrupt politics, profiteering from the suffering of illegal immigrants, backstabbing figuratively, backstabbing literally and a few different methods of murder. We also get hints that Booth may be lusting after his own daughter. Take a moment to think about that and consider that the daughter is played by Lindsay Lohan.
That’s right, Ms. Lohan is in a movie again. Fortunately, I’m very pleased to say that she displays a tremendous amount of self-awareness in this role. From the very first frame — even before we see her face! — April Booth is shown as a drug-addicted girl caked in her own vomit, working to make a name for herself through posing nude on the Internet. Lohan is playing a straight-up parody of herself and it looks like she’s having a great time doing it. I wouldn’t say that her career is back on track just yet — showing some acting talent might help — but this is definitely a huge step forward for her.
Speaking of has-been actors partially redeeming themselves through self-parodies, Steven Seagall appears as the movie’s third villain. He’s the drug boss who runs a secret fund for crooked politicians and who killed Machete’s wife in front of him. Alas, Torrez denies Machete proper vengeance, though his death scene is nonetheless suitably badass. The character is further damaged by Seagall himself, who’s either genuinely lost his acting talent by this point or just doesn’t bother putting any effort into his role.
Robert De Niro doesn’t fare much better, though that may be due to the nature of his role. Senator McLaughlin, after all, is really nothing more than a figurehead for the other three villains. As a result, De Niro’s performance sadly doesn’t yield anything particularly remarkable. McLaughlin’s campaign ads, on the other hand, are satirical gold.
As for the rest…
- Jessica Alba is saddled with the law-enforcing “straight man” character. She gets a lot of fun out of the role, succeeding where Jessica Biel failed in The A-Team a few months back.
- Michelle Rodriguez is a touch over-the-top even for this movie, but still provides a serviceable resistance leader.
- Cheech Marin doesn’t get a lot of screen time, but he juices every second for all it’s worth. I’ll be very disappointed if I never get to say or hear “I absolve you of all your sins, now get the fuck out” in everyday language just once.
But of course, it’s Machete himself that truly makes this movie. Folks, this is the movie and the character that will define Danny Trejo’s career forevermore. It took a long time, but Trejo finally found a leading role that made good use of just how badass he is. This is a guy so adept at kicking ass that he manages to break a guy’s arm without even touching him. He knows the score, he gets the women and he kills the bad guys. I really don’t know what else I have to say except that he makes the movie worth watching entirely on his own.
Finally, I simply have to mention that this film is uproarious in its satire and parody, particularly in its use of Latino stereotypes. For example, of fleet of vehicles driving to battle is awesome, though a fleet of tricked-out Impalas with outlandish paint jobs driving into battle while bouncing on hydraulics is awesomely hilarious. The climax also gathers illegal immigrant workers from all walks of life, meaning that day laborers go charging forth on wheelbarrows and ice-cream carts. Aside from the climax, we also get a couple of amusing scenes in which Machete breaks into Booth’s home, using gardening equipment to get past the security.
To sum up, Machete may very well be the best action movie of the year. Its political undertones, cast performances, writing and visuals all go toward strengthening the mindless action and all the laughs inevitably resulting thereof. If you take offense at the notion of a movie that glorifies illegal immigration, shut up and don’t see the movie. Otherwise, give this a watch and bring your bloodlust with you.