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Movie Curiosities

The online diary of an aspiring movie nerd

Cruel Intentions

ByCuriosity Inc.

Apr 23, 2010

When I first stumbled onto this movie, I absolutely hated it. I walked out halfway through. I thought it was cheap, I thought it was sleazy and I felt guilty just watching it. As well I probably should’ve, considering I was thirteen at the time. Now a decade older and wiser, with a movie blog that needs content, I thought it was time to revisit this.

On a purely technical level, the movie is nothing incredible. The score is either non-existent or totally lacking in subtlety, the visuals are uninspired and the plot is so old and tired, it could probably be found on cave paintings. This is a movie that has pretty much nothing going for it… except the cast.

The casting in this movie is amazing. Even the most minor roles are cast in such a way that they make instant and memorable impressions, all while enhancing the leads and never detracting from them. Take, for example, the therapist and her daughter that only appear briefly at the beginning. There’s nothing remarkable about them and they’re not especially important to the plot, but they’re played by Swoosie Kurtz and Tara Reid. Kurtz brings the weariness and crankiness that any Pushing Daisies fan should remember fondly, Reid plays off her reputation as a train wreck, and voila! Characters elevated to a whole ‘nother level of strength, purely by their casting.

By far the movie’s best examples of this are the two leads. Sebastian and Kathryn are totally stock characters. They are completely two-dimensional and you could probably sketch out their character arcs based purely on the plot synopsis without ever seeing a single frame of the movie. Enter Ryan Phillipe and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Now the characters are still stock, but they’re so deliciously manipulative, treacherous and deviant that they become a lot of fun to watch. Unfortunately, this strength does buckle under the required third-act character developments, as Gellar goes over-the-top evil and Phillipe starts to play his character as Generic Male Romantic Lead #384,598. At least they’re clearly having fun with this movie.

From the very outset, it’s obvious that this movie was meant to be a sex comedy. Not the raunchy kind of sex comedy like, say, Animal House, but the mature and tongue-in-cheek kind of sex comedy, self-aware of its sleaze, a la Risky Business. However, it’s only the actors that manage to make this movie remotely funny or quotable, transcending dime-a-dozen screenwriting and direction (Case in point: “I’m the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side!”).

At best, this movie is a guilty pleasure. It’s an opportunity to enjoy some risque humor and scenery-chewing while willing yourself to ignore the predictable plot. At worst, this movie is immaterial. It goes in one ear and out the other, forgotten within minutes after viewing. In either case, this movie is mediocre and toothless, provided you can handle a bit of sleaze.

By Curiosity Inc.

I hold a B.S. in Bioinformatics, the only one from Pacific University's Class of '09. I was the stage-hand-in-chief of my high school drama department and I'm a bass drummer for the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers. I dabble in video games and I'm still pretty good at DDR. My primary hobby is going online for upcoming movie news. I am a movie buff, a movie nerd, whatever you want to call it. Comic books are another hobby, but I'm not talking about Superman or Spider-Man or those books that number in the triple-digits. I'm talking about Watchmen, Preacher, Sandman, etc. Self-contained, dramatic, intellectual stories that couldn't be accomplished in any other medium. I'm a proud son of Oregon, born and raised here. I've been just about everywhere in North and Central America and I love it right here.

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